Did Not Finish: Red Dead Revolver

GREETINGS, TIME TRAVELER FROM 2004: The following discussion contains spoilers for Red Dead Revolver. While most readers won’t have a problem seeing plot details from a game that is almost a decade old, consider yourself warned. And if you’re looking for tips on winning the final showdown against Governor Griffin: give up. Nobody has bothered putting any useful information about it on the internet, so there’s no point in looking any further. (One site says you can buy some time by shooting him in the leg, so good luck with that, I guess.)

Red Dead Revolver for PS2 Screen 1

Bitterly Indifferent: I had a lot of fun with Red Dead Revolver, even though I’ll never finish it. I salute Rockstar San Diego for their excellent work; it’s like a Max Payne title that’s actually worth playing!

Donald: I borrowed Red Dead Revolver from a friend, and returned it the next day. Then I found a new friend. That game is a mess!

Bitterly Indifferent: It’s only a mess if you pay attention to the tutorials. They put a lot of work into teaching you about using the cover system, which is adorable. Forget cover; this is a game about rushing towards gunfire so that you can shoot bad guys in the face.

Donald: I can’t believe Red Dead Redemption came out of this game.

Red Dead Revolver for PS2 Screen 2

Bitterly Indifferent: I can’t believe you can mow down evil circus clowns with a Gatling gun in this game. That was unexpected — the Gatling Gun Company itself says their guns are supposed to crush labor activists and workers on strike.

Donald: Sometimes you think about these things to much.

Bitterly Indifferent: That’s possible. But no amount of thinking will make sense of the duel system in this game. Especially in the PS2 version. I’ve made it to the last level, I’ve gunned my way through the final guards, and every time I come to the last showdown, I’m shot to death by the Governor. The best advice that the internet has to offer is “keep replaying the tutorial until you’ve mastered dueling,” and let me tell you: the tutorial is absolute garbage.

I have figured out four things about duels in Red Dead Revolver on the Playstation 2:

  1. You press R1 to place targets on your opponent, and you can place one target for each bullet in your gun. Except when you can’t.
  2. You press the R2 button to drop out of slow motion and begin firing. Except for the times when the R2 button doesn’t do anything.
  3. You can return fire while your opponent is shooting at you. Unless you can’t return fire because your opponent is shooting at you.
  4. You have to move the R3 stick downwards to start the draw process when your hand is closest to your gun. Unless you’re in a duel with the governor, in which case he’ll just shoot you dead before you get a chance to start anything.

So that’s Red Dead Revolver: A wild west action adventure game for the PS2 where you can have fun charging at people and shooting them in the face. Until you can’t.

About B. Indifferent

Bitterly Indifferent is a belligerent hillbilly with a substandard internet connection. He is also a fan of retro gaming who has previously written about the state of games journalism and the intersection of games and family.