Welcome to the latest installment of Finishing the Week. It’s time for the DNF crew — along with a few random special guests — to get together and toss back a few brewskis while cracking wise at the latest and greatest news the video game industry has to offer. Click the links, enjoy the banter, and feel free to talk back in the comments section below.
Donald: Two years of doing this guys. TWO YEARS!
Tony: Wait… what? You’re kidding right? Two years of Finishing the Week… no way! Why didn’t someone tell me about this momentous occasion?
GlowPuff: …and I feel every second of it with this ball and chain tied around my… oh hey guys! Didn’t know you were in here!
Donald: We baked a cake for year one, and celebrated with a chili hot tub for issue 100. What do we do for the two year anniversary?
Tony: I vote for blackout drunk and see where things go from there. Let’s get this news over with so we can get started. Wait, let’s do both…. aaaaand GO!
Summary: Square Enix had to halt digital downloads of their latest Final Fantasy MMO because log in times have been horrific and they need to expand server capacity.
GlowPuff: Reminds me of the evening the Diablo 3 servers went live. That was not a fun several hours of waiting.
Tony: And it reminds me of that time I… wait, I’ve never played an MMO. Anyway, cheers!
B. Indifferent: It’s like this, Square Enix — GameStop was able to mess with supply and demand for huge profits because it was a game that people wanted to play. What you’re doing is a clumsy attempt to throttle the number of people who can cash in on a free trial, and this can only end badly.
Summary: Microsoft will be exchanging any current Microsoft Points in your wallet for “an amount of currency equal to or greater than the Marketplace value of your Microsoft Points.”
Tony: So I know we’ve talked about this story before, but now that Points are currency, I’m just wondering how much money you all made in the exchange???
B. Indifferent: I’m a Microsoft point billionaire, but I need your help in removing my assets from this country. If you give me access to your Microsoft point account, I can transfer my enormous balance to you so that we can withdraw the funds and split the proceeds.
GlowPuff: Hey, I just got an email from Nigeria too! Some guy — a doctor at that — wants to exchange several billion MS points, and he also needs access to my bank account. I get a part of the proceeds after the exchange is completed. Something is telling me not to do this, so I’m going to think on it a bit.
Donald: This sounds too hot to pass up.
GlowPuff: You make a strong argument, sir!
GlowPuff & Donald: Alright, LET’S DO THIS!
Tony: You guys go ahead and exchange your Points. I’m going to hold on to mine and hope they grow in value like precious coins from days gone by.
Summary: Spending on Google Play games has surpassed that of spending on optimized gaming handhelds during the second quarter of 2013, and it’s clear smartphone gaming is “dominating” the marketplace.
Souce: App Annie
B. Indifferent: Huh. I guess I’ve seen the future of handheld gaming, and it sucks out loud.
GlowPuff: Does this mean games will soon be developed for mobile platforms FIRST, then PORTED to real handheld gaming machines, instead of the other way around??
Tony: No, it just means that everyone on the planet owns a smartphone and most of them are willing to drop a few dollars on the latest cash-grab shovelware flavor of the month.
Summary: Nintendo is dropping the price of the 32GB Wii U by $50 on starting September 20th, and has basically abandoned the cheaper 8GB version all together.
Donald: My daughter has been playing Wind Waker lately, so this is good news for me. I think a Wii U is in my future.
Tony: So you have to wait three weeks for the price drop? That’s crazy… does Nintendo expect sell a single Wii U between now and September 20th… no, wait, that’s crazy like a fox!! The Wii U is already putting up with a ton of bad pub, so what’s another “Wii U not selling” article going to do to hurt them? Come October 1st they can drop a press release saying “Wii U sales up 500%” and they will be the belle of the ball!
R. Fils-Aime: I’ve already got my dress sized!!
GlowPuff: Waitaminute. Didn’t Nintendo recently say the “problem” wasn’t the price? In a perfect world where money grows on trees, I’d get a Wii U just to play the Zelda game. I haven’t played a Zelda game since that one on the Gameboy SP (which I still have). I’d actually like to play a Zelda game on a modern console, even if it is just a “HD remake”. That being said, my money is going to PS4 (and most likely a Vita) later this year.
Tony: Dude, Nintendo is brilliant! This strategy of weeding out what’s NOT the “problem” and then fixing that very issue just took another small step in the right direction… RFA also said that the Wii U name isn’t the problem, so I’m going to wait until after the holiday to get my New Wii that will come with packaged with the New New Super Mario Bros Wii and another $50 price drop!
Summary: Nintendo is releasing a new handheld console this October called the 2DS. It is cheaper, can play the same games, and offers many similar features as it’s 3DS brethren. However, it ditches the clamshell flip screen and 3D functionality.
Donald: I’m going to guess that there is a room in all Nintendo headquarters where they give you a pile of cash, and you can “Make it Rain” any time of day you want to.
Tony: So the 2DS is a 2D only system… that can take 3D photos… which can only be viewed when transferred to a 3DS… well, that makes perfect sense… IN BIZARRO WORLD!!
GlowPuff: So what is this thing, exactly? Is it a tablet? A phablet (phone tablet)? Or a vigablet (video game tablet)? That last one didn’t sound too good. <laugh>
Tony: With the 2DS at $130 this holiday season, it’s actually called a Trump Card. That Vita price drop was a nice play by Sony, but Nintendo just won the hand.
Summary: Sony’s president of worldwide studios Tweets PS4 owners can buy a game via smartphone and your system will wake up, download the software, then go back to sleep.
Source: Shuhei Yoshida via Twitter
GlowPuff: Interesting. For this to work, the PS4 will have to be “always online” to get the notification.
Tony: Sony better watch out. Sure, people freaked out over THAT console’s original “always online” stance… what they heck do you think they are going to do now that they know the PS4 can turn itself on?!?
Donald: I can remotely turn on my PS3 with my Vita. Every time I do I find myself starting a petition to stop this invasion of privacy! Then I play Tokyo Jungle.
Tony: Remote downloading is nice and all, but wake me when I can remotely have the system waiting at the door with my pipe, slippers, and a glass of scotch when I get home from work. Then I can relax by playing the games it downloaded while it cooks me dinner.
Skynet: Happy Judgement Day to you and yours, Meatsack.
Summary: Disney is shutting down the servers to the ten year old virtual world of, Toontown Online, leaving mothers and children the world over scrambling to put the pieces of their real lives back together. Meanwhile, Disney looks to spend their time and efforts on more recent projects.
GlowPuff: For a moment there, I thought they were shutting down ToonTown at their theme park. I was about to go start a petition to stop the atrocity.
Donald: I thought the toons got the deed to ToonTown at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Disney can’t just shut it down.
Tony: And to add insult to injury, Disney is moving on to Club Penguins? PETA is going to be furious!!
Summary: EA let gamers name their price for a batch of six titles, and their Humble Origin Bundle made over $10 million for charity.
GlowPuff: I contributed to the money they raised, and I am proud. I’m also happy about the sweet lewt I received in doing so.
Donald: I gave to charity and somehow ended up with a copy of Dead Space 3. I am glad charity got money, not to sure if I am glad about the other thing.
Tony: So, how are you two enjoying the Dead Space 3 co-op experience?
GlowPuff: Not at all.
Summary: Bethesda is taking Elder Scrolls Online, and the MMO is currently going to cost you $60 for the game, a $15/month subscription fee, and either the $60/year Xbox Live Gold or $50/year. Bethesda is hoping to avoid that last part, but so far Microsoft and Sony haven’t taken the bait.
Source: The Official Xbox Magazine
Donald: File this under “Not going to happen.” Sony and Microsoft would be hosting the game on their servers and Bethesda would be making the profit? Plus, who is going to pay 15 dollars a month for an MMORPG? Those are Free-to-Play these days.
GlowPuff: Agreed. Also, file this under “Don’t Care”. I couldn’t even finish Skyrim. There’s no way I could find time to play a MMORPG.
Tony: You are both wrong. Skyrim is a hell of a drug. I bought the game on 2 different systems and leveled up multiple characters in each version to God Mode.
I’ve eaten dragons for breakfast and crapped dragons before lunch… so I could have room in my tummy to eat more dragons.
To this day, I still spend more time sitting in the main hall of my handcrafted Lakeview Manor than I do sitting in my own livingroom… which is virtually impossible if you think about it.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, yeah, Bethesda, I don’t care how much ESO is going to cost me. Just hurry up and release it. Hey guys, I gotta go. I just had a crate full of Skooma delivered to my other house over in Hjaalmarch, and it’s not gonna skoom itself!
Peace out, homies. See you next week.
Saw a news story that we should rip? Follow Did-Not-Finish on Twitter and tell me about it. Need more stuff on your Facebook wall? With a simple “like” that can be accomplished. Also, feel free to mock me via Email.Tweet