Finishing the Week: Issue 101

Welcome to the latest installment of Finishing the Week. It’s time for the DNF crew — along with a few random special guests — to get together and toss back a few brewskis while cracking wise at the latest and greatest news the video game industry has to offer. Click the links, enjoy the banter, and feel free to talk back in the comments section below.

Donald: So are we going to talk about it?

B. Indifferent: NO

GlowPuff: I still have chili in my a…

Tony: NO! News NOW!

8-11 OuyaOuya Kickstarts New Game Sales

Summary: The new Ouya console has had a bit of a rough start. Any of the original Kickstarter backers of the console are being handed a $13.37 credit to spend in the Discover Store.
Source: The Verge

Donald: After seeing how much they are refunding, I hurt myself performing a Picard level facepalm.

Picard: You call that a facepalm?

B. Indifferent: Just think of how many extra games those Ouya users will decide not to buy with all that money!

GlowPuff: Waitaminute. The last sentence says that game sales are “better than they expected”. Didn’t we just blast the Ouya last week because of rotten game sales? I don’t get it. Who do I believe??

Tony: Well, since it was the CEO of Ouya that said sales were “better than expected” you should probably believe her. I can’t think of a single reason why she’d want to spin this situation.

J. Uhrman: That’s not spin.We built a system powerful enough to play mobile phone game demos. Expectations were low from the start.

GlowPuff: Well, at least with this store credit, people will finally “buy” games, right?

8-11 Assassins creed copyAssassinating Creed

Summary: Ubisoft has plans to be done with Assassin’s Creed some day.
Source: Eurogamer

Tony: Since we have a few AC nerds in our midst, I’m wondering… how would y’all end the AC series?

Donald: After Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood.

GlowPuff: I’d make one final Assasin’s Creed. In space. Just like the Hellraiser movies took it to the future and outer space, putting the final nail in what was once a great horror movie franchise.

B. Indifferent: I saw the “Leprechaun” movie that they set in space and… it doesn’t disprove your theory.

Tony: Dead Spaceassin’s Creed is going to have co-op play, right?

8-11 riftIs Oculus Rift Doomed?
Summary: John Carmack officially joins the Oculus Rift team as their Chief Technology Officer.
Source: Oculus VR blog

B. Indifferent: This is the pornography thing, right? At least we can take solace in the fact that no matter what happens to the Oculus Rift, pornography will still be around.

Donald: Well, guess who named Bitterly will never use the office Oculus Rift? Bitterly. I’m sure Mr.Carmack will throw himself into this product. I put money that original Doom will be ported to it.

GlowPuff: Having successfully ported Doom to a Casio wrist watch, I have no doubts Mr. Carmack will also port Doom to the Rift.

8-11 dvrUpdate From the Console Wars Front
Summary: Streaming and recording video on PS4 is not a Plus, but recording video on Xbox Live is worth it’s weight in Gold.
Source: up for grabs, but IGN at the moment

Donald: This back and forth between Microsoft and Sony is starting to bore me. You know what’s really good at streaming video games? PCs. You know how long they have been doing it? Since 2007ish.

GlowPuff: Ya, and my PC has been streaming porn for longer than that.

B. Indifferent: I’m okay with talking about the escalating arms race between Playstation and Sony as long as it means we don’t have to waste any more time making jokes about the Ouya.

8-11 paygamesYou Mad Riccitielbro?
Summary: Former EA big shot John Riccitiello things games created for profit is a sick practice.
Source: Game Industry

B. Indifferent: That’s right! If the gaming industry gets infested with money-grubbing opportunists, it would be a serious problem. Without talented people working to make enjoyable games for the fun of it, then the money-grubbing, opportunist publishers won’t have anyone to exploit!

Donald: I purchased a game on my phone the other day. About an hour in, it asked me for money. I was pretty sure that I dropped money for this game already. I was confused, so I uninstalled it and decided to never review it. Because if the designer was going to disrespect me I wasn’t going to give them the time of day.

GlowPuff: Sounds like one of my games. GUFFAW!

Activision: That is why you should buy the Season Pass! It’s like getting all the DLC for free!

8-11 linkLike a not so creepy Peter Pan
Summary: A concept pitch for an animated Zelda movie surfaced on the internet.
Source: My Nintendo News

GlowPuff: So that’s why the latest Zelda game has all those CG cutscenes. Why waste all those scenes they already had made for the movie?

B. Indifferent: I can’t imagine why Nintendo passed on the chance to make a film that was as financially and critically successful as Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within.

Donald: Because everyone knows that the best way to enjoy a video game IP is to sit and watch it passively instead of interacting with it. Who are these people who think that is what we want out of our video games?

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About Donald Conrad

Donald Conrad is an avid father and a dedicated gamer -- or maybe that's the other way around. He loves his games, and he loves his family, and he's pretty sure he loves sleep, even if he doesn't remember what it was like. Follow his life confusion on Twitter @ConManEd