Finishing the Week: Issue 28

Welcome to the latest installment of Finishing the Week. It’s time for the DNF crew — along with a few random special guests — to get together and toss back a few brewskis while cracking wise at the latest and greatest news the video game industry has to offer. Click the links, enjoy the banter, and feel free to talk back in the comments section below.

D. Conrad: I’m not going to lie, I have had a rough week. So what better way to finish a rough week then by guest hosting Finishing the Week. I would like to think it will be therapeutic. Like stomping this week into the deepest depths of Oblivion with the heel of my boot. You might be asking yourself where is Rambler? That is a fair question. We asked him to do a beer run on Monday…That is the last time we saw him. His chair is open, let’s hope he shambles in to keep this boat a float! In a strange turn of events, I did not play Skyrim this week! I know! I felt the earth shutter too! What I did play was a bunch of Jak 3 in it’s new HD glory. Thanks to Cort for that! Also, the SSX demo? YEAH BUDDY! Tricky returns and that is a grin you feel on your face.

B. Indifferent: This week I became a Turkish Baron. That’s not a euphemism, I just finally figured out how to play Uncharted Waters: New Horizons for the Wii’s virtual console. It’s got a tough learning curve, but after several games lost by starving, sinking, storms, and unwisely flipping the bird at well-armed Spaniards, I figured out how to get from one port to the next without dying horribly. Several weeks after that, I began working my way up the hierarchy of the Turkish court and the rest, as they say, is history.

D. Conrad: Every time you start a new Wii game I have to wonder if I am missing something? I know that my will is getting very good at playing the Elmo learning game. My daughter thinks the best way to play is to make me play while she was watching. So, is your success with Uncharted Waters the reason you had that old wooden ship delivered to our parking lot? It’s taking up my spot, and your spot. Also Ramblers and Glowpuff’s spot.

GlowPuff: I have a spot?  WOT!!  I’ve been parking in that ditch back there all this time.  Dudes… not funny!  I allowed myself to complete a couple random quests in Skyrim this week.  I had to pick up the slack, since Donald didn’t play.  Is it just me, or could Skyrim use a multiplayer component in the form of MUDCRAB BATTLES!!!!!????  Thoughts??

But who has time to play games when there are choppers to fly?  I took my little RC heli outside for some… spirited … flying in the wind.  I was sweating bullets the whole time, but no crashes.  The little guy is just too light for strong winds.  I bought an aftermarket swashplate, and it flies even better now (indoors).  Half the fun is tinkering and upgrading these things.  With that said, I have another heli on the way.  I know, it’s getting really crazy.  My fleet is growing.  The new one is 20″ inches long, and it will be here Tuesday.  Notice they are getting bigger and bigger?  My next one will be this monster:

Just kidding. OR AM I?

D. Conrad: Seriously? If you get that do you know how often we will be forced to yell “GET TO DA CHOPPA!” on a daily basis? My wife just asked me if you are pimping on the side. I said no, but then I started thinking about it. I am still not satisfied with how you, poorly, explained away the brothel you set up in the basement. But if you have a helicopter, I wouldn’t care. We could FLY to lunch. Take THAT block and a half foot traffic to Burger King!

Help Wanted: Need talented artists to make four hour cut scenes!

D. Conrad: This reminds me, I need to play Metal Gear 4… and Metal Gear 3. After the end of 2 I have remained confused as to if playing those two is a good idea?

B. Indifferent: MGS3 was a great way to drive yourself insane trying to figure out why you’d been spotted. They put a ridiculous amount of effort into making the guards from those games unpredictable and having them react to changes in their environment, and then took away your most effective means of tracking them. So what I’m trying to say is that it depends on your definition of “good.”

GlowPuff:  Well, I haven’t played a Metal Gear game since that one on the old Nintendo.  BAHAHAH  Why don’t they just make short films, or an anime series, since they like making cutscenes so much?

D. Conrad: You wouldn’t want that. I am not kidding when I say this, I once fell a sleep during the “narrative animations” in MGS2. It didn’t matter, I had no idea what was going on before I missed that thirty minuets of story.

When in doubt, give the project to the God of War guys.

B. Indifferent: Ah, more semantics. This time, I’m not too keen on finding out how Sony defines “playable.”

D. Conrad: I would imagine playable is defined as “Made us a boat load of money.” Maybe Kratos riding that bird thing is just what this series needs?

GlowPuff: <sigh of relief>  So, it’s playable.  Duke Nukem Forever is playable too.  Just sayin’.

D. Conrad: No, I don’t think you are right about that. I downloaded the demo, I am not sure if it was playable.

I’m not the only one who has to be drunk to play a Final Fantasy these days?

D. Conrad: I thought it was best to not reveal that the person you are interviewing is drunk? I guess that cat is out of the bag, I am flat-out drunk right now. ALSO! I have some issues with Final Fantasy! Quick, someone interview me.

B. Indifferent: What does it take to become a news story these days? “Dude gets drunk, complains about old job and how things used to be better”? It’s like “dog bites man” suddenly became a legitimate story topic.

GlowPuff: What I find humorous is that Sakaguchi isn’t the only one complaining about that game.  The fans are, too!

D. Conrad: Maybe the FFXIII-2 developers were drunk also? That would explain why the end is now DLC.

Nintendo beats itself at it’s own game.

B. Indifferent: So the moral of the story is that it’s okay to call a system 3d, as long as you don’t actually try to make a system 3D.

D. Conrad: I finally got to play a 3DS today. You know what? It’s freaking AWESOME! I also played a Vita. It made me mad, it asked me to tilt the system to control the game. The system was mounted to a display. Great marketing there guys.

GlowPuff: Think the Vita can topple this unstoppable locomotive?  Me either.  This is actually very impressive, since it was tanking when it launched.  Look at it now!  I still want to get one, like I said several weeks ago.  I’m waiting for that Icarus game to launch first, then I’ll pull the trigger.

Gabe Newell speaks, you should listen.

D. Conrad: The first time I used Steam I was mad. I had to register to play Half-Life 2 on the PC. One issue, Steam was down because it was Half-Life 2’s release day. I couldn’t reach the servers so therefore I could not play my shiny new game. I swore I would never use Steam again after that!

B. Indifferent: What did you say? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Oh, Valve — they do Steam, right? I’ve been meaning to get me one of those.

D. Conrad: I love Steam by the way. It’s the best digital download service on the web. But Origin? I had trouble installing it, I will never use that service again! But wearable computers? I never saw that in Star Trek, so therefore I doubt it will work in the real world.

GlowPuff: Wearable computers will be relevant when Apple markets one.  Then, and only then, will they catch on.  Just look at the tablet market before and after the iPad.

This is why you own an iPad!

D. Conrad: I started looking for iPad’s online after reading this. I decided to get used because I wanted to stick it to the “man”. Then I saw that a used iPad costs more than a new one. Stupid eBay.

B. Indifferent: Hey, I have an iPad!

GlowPuff: I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while now: that’s not an iPad, it’s a legal pad you decorated with some old Club Nintendo stickers. I mean, Nintendo doesn’t even make iPads.


GlowPuff: Ya, iPads retain their value in the used market.  When I upgraded to the iPad 2, I traded in my first one for nearly the whole cost.  Oh, was there also an article I was supposed to comment on?

Now you can have two kinds of Duty in your pants.

GlowPuff: Buttons are phasing out.  It’s the old way to game.  I enjoy not feeling a thing when I’m pressing on… a flat surface with a picture of a button on it.  Ya…

D. Conrad: What? Who saw that coming? Call me when Killzone is on Vita, then we will talk. I do think I did hear a collective cry from Apple after this new dropped. After playing the aforementioned Vita I realized the touch screen controls have a massive limitation. The Vita has lots and lots of buttons, buttons are good for games.

GlowPuff: The next game after Pirate’s Plunder is well under way.  I’m shooting for a quick release on this one so I can get to work on the Easter game.  I’ll take photos of the new chopper when it arrives, and before I wreck it into Oblivion.

D. Conrad: The last time I hosted a Finishing the Week was twenty two episodes ago. I think I did a fairly good job? Sure the table we are sitting at is on fire, Rambler is missing and Bitterly is bleeding from the head. I think it’s safe to say that I now know why I pay Rambler the big bucks to run this. I miss our Senior News Anchor. I also miss the beer he was supposed to bring back. Well, back to playing Pirate’s Plunder for me. Thanks for sticking around and feel free to tell me how bad I did in the comments section below.

GlowPuff: <whispers> The beer was already dropped off in my office.  Or rather, a few empty crates that used to contain the beer.  What’s going on with our delivery boy AKA Rambler?  Was there a party I wasn’t invited to?

D. Conrad: It was a Pirate’s Plunder launch party…

About Donald Conrad

Donald Conrad is an avid father and a dedicated gamer -- or maybe that's the other way around. He loves his games, and he loves his family, and he's pretty sure he loves sleep, even if he doesn't remember what it was like. Follow his life confusion on Twitter @ConManEd